Do Not Go Gentle
by badwolfandabox
Summary: Rose Tyler ate scared for breakfast. She had once killed the Devil himself. She poured the Time Vortex into the Emperor's head and destroyed him and his entire race. Scared was nothing new for her. But when the Dimension Cannon lit up and suddenly all of Time and Space was available to her again in her quest to find the Doctor, what would she endure in order to save the universe?
1. Chapter 1

They had told her to spend the night with her mum and family and that was honestly her plan. Spend the last safe night surrounded by those who loved her and to give them some happy memories in case tomorrow didn't work out the way they all hoped. But on her way to the grand house her mum now lived in, she turned left and drove out of the city. Laying on her back, she stared up at the stars. Tomorrow she would be back among them.

In the beginning she left the city a lot. It was too difficult looking up towards the sky and seeing such a tangible reminder that she was stuck in a universe that she didn't belong to. While it wasn't easy, she could pretend that the air didn't just feel slightly static. She travelled and explored and kept moving because if she stood still for too long, she could feel the turn of the earth, as if the planet itself was trying to eject her from orbit and send her flying into space. But looking up the zeppelins made it completely impossible to forget that she didn't belong here. Zeppelins belonged to the war. They belonged to her and Jack and London, to the backdrop of an invisible spaceship and dancing in front of Big Ben to Glenn Miller.

So she left the city often. She had exploration in her blood now and was completely unable to stay in one place for long periods of time. Once it had been planets and time that she travelled. Now cities and countries and the overwhelming feeling of claustrophobia of being confined to this one planet that looked like hers but wasn't, that threatened her hold on sanity. She never truly understood the Doctor's horror at being stuck on Krop Tor, but she knew that feeling now. Torchwood helped her, gave her a reason to continue on and it was a great cover story for her frequent disappearances. Aliens noticed this Earth more than her Earth, which she found quite unbelievable in the beginning, and she had a vast knowledge of different species and a leftover gift from the Tardis in her ability to speak and understand every language that she came across. Rose was waiting desperately for the day that the ability disappeared because it terrified her. When the Doctor regenerated, the Tardis had stopped translating until he woke up, so how was she still translating for Rose universes apart? She didn't quite understand it so she tended to push those thoughts aside and ignore them. She was getting good at ignoring things.

Just as she pushed aside thoughts of the Tardis. Losing the Tardis was a gaping wound in the back of her skull that wouldn't heal. It left her feeling like she had lost one of her senses and she was left fumbling in the dark, desperately trying to find a lightswitch. She hadn't slept a proper night she had been stuck here. She hadn't quite realized how much she had come to rely on the faint humming that had been in the back of her head, until it was abruptly silenced and there was an empty abyss left behind. In the beginning, the silence had overwhelmed her to the point where she almost lost her grip on reality twice. They had performed all kinds of tests and found nothing. Pete looked at her with suspicion in those days and that hadn't really helped. Eventually she came to manage the quiet and was able to put on a good front so no one even thought back on those days. But inside her head, the silence _screamed_.

She shifted and thought of how she liked when she could escape to the country the best. Very few zeppelins tainted the sky, giving her an unobstructed view of the stars. It always twisted her insides, looking up at what had once been her backyard. She knew many of the planets that circled those stars intimately. A universe away, she had friends all across time and space, on different planets, and in different galaxies. Now all she had was faint twinklings in a sky that didn't know her footprint. It was so difficult going from running through time, to being confined here. Yes, she gained a baby brother that she absolutely adored, thankfully her mum and Mickey were here, in Pete she had an almost father now. But it was hard to look at him some days and not think of the man in a church who recognized her as his daughter before he consciously realized it. It was hard to speak to him and not think of how her Pete had sacrificed himself to save her. She couldn't bear to hug him because when he wrapped his arms around her, her mind flashed back to him catching her before she fell into the void. Impossible not to think of the Doctor screaming her name in terror, his eyes huge with panic as he desperately tried to hold on and not follow her there, but still straining to grab her. Jackie was so happy here, living a life of airs and graces even while wearing those same tracksuits. But for all that Jackie had gained, Rose had lost so much more. Her universe, friends, the Tardis, the man that she…

Ruthlessly, she squashed down the last word. She wouldn't think of that, or of his arms around her, the crinkles near his eyes when he smiled, or the way when he changed his entire body, his accent almost matched hers. There were a million reasons that she wouldn't think the word, but it boiled down to that word belonging to him. She had said it last on the worst day of her life and wouldn't think it again until she had fixed this.

Mostly she just wanted to go home. Back to where her life was insane to most people, but made sense to her. Back to where she was happy. Absently, she reached up to stroke the Tardis key around her neck. After being stranded and locked out of the Tardis, she never took it off. All she had left of home now and even though the metal was cold -body head didn't warm it, only the physical proximity of the Tardis did that- it gave her a small measure of comfort.

With a heavy sigh she raised to her feet. She had been laying flat on her back, looking up at the stars _(once she had burned like the sun and now she breathed for just a glimpse.)_ She wasn't here tonight to escape for a few hours. Torchwood was in panic mode. It had been realized that there was an anomaly on Earth, faint fissures that couldn't be explained. They had their best people working on it, but that had been put on hold when something even more pressing had been discovered.

The stars were going out.

No warnings, no novas, no anything. They were there one minute and then there was nothing. Just black emptiness. Thankfully it wasn't obvious yet, from Earth everything looked the same. Only those with very powerful telescopes had noticed...something...and they were keeping it amongst themselves. But that would only last for so long and soon the public would be in a state of panic. Which is where the Dimension Cannon had come into play.

Rose made no secret that she wouldn't stay here if she had an option. From the moment he had left her for the final time on that awful beach. " _I'm just an image, no touch."_ From that exact second, she had been determined to prove him wrong and claw her way back to him. Pete, bless him, had been very supportive from the beginning. Rose studied and she gathered the best from around the planet and together they had built the Dimension Cannon. They were mindful of the sake of universe and never, not once used it on full power. On full power, they could have punched their own holes in the walls of universes and she could have already been searching. But Rose would never risk so many living creatures like that. So they waited to see if anything would happen, while they worked to figure out a way to use it without collapsing reality. But then the stars started going out and the damn machine lit up. Rose was miles away and felt when the cracks opened. It was almost like a strong wind, the feeling of something pulling her away. She ran back to the office, arriving heaving for breath, as the entire team of scientists were in an uproar. She was ready to go then, a pull so powerful she almost couldn't control it begging her to jump now. Of course they tested it first, she knew the risks. They started with small inanimate objects, before moving to mice, which Rose hated. But they needed something alive to make it through and back before they sent her. They tested until they were mostly satisfied, which was as good as it would get under these circumstances.

Tomorrow would be her first trip through and she was terrified. She had built the damn thing but it sometimes baffled her how it worked. She would be scattered into atoms _(you are tiny. I can see the whole of time and space, every single atom of your existence, and I divide them),_ and hurdled across the void into hopefully her universe, before the atoms rearranged themselves back into Rose proper. Not even including the fact that she could land anywhere, in anywhen, and in any universe. She was properly terrified.

Yeah, she was scared. But Rose Tyler ate scared for breakfast. She had once killed the devil himself. She poured the Time Vortex into the Emperor's head and destroyed him and his entire race. Scared was nothing new for her.

She was thrilled.


	2. Chapter 2

"Jackie called me several times last night," was Mickey's greeting as she walked into Torchwood.

"Oh. Sorry." Rose kept walking, head slightly down, her hair concealing her face partially, and reading the latest report of the readings coming from the Dimension Cannon this morning.

Mickey grabbed her arm and forced her attention to him. "You were supposed to go home last night, Rose. Spend some time with your family."

"I couldn't be there, Mickey. You know how Mum has been lately. I needed to clear my mind and get ready for the jump." Rose pulled her arm away and started walking again.

"She's afraid you're gonna die on that thing! Or you'll find him and you won't come back!" Mickey clenched his fists at her stubbornness, at his helplessness, at all of this.

"That was always the plan, Mickey! Remember when you all took me to that damned beach? I didn't pack that bag for nothin'! I was leaving then too!" Before the Doctor was there but wasn't and Rose couldn't even touch him. For the first time in months Rose had been happy. Had been ready to leave and go with him. And the he faded away and his last words were her name and a sentence that went unfinished.

"That was years ago!" Mickey yelled, running to catch up with her. "Jackie thought you would have changed your mind by now. Hell, we all did!"

Rose had stopped and closed her eyes against the interested eyes that followed their argument to block them out, but she spun to face him on those words, her eyes spitting fire.

"I promised him forever on a planet where giant stingrays flew in the air. That doesn't end on a planet with zeppelins, Mickey." She met his eyes and he seemed startled by her direct gaze. "This isn't where it ends. I won't accept that."

"And if he's moved on? You thought you were the only one and then there was Sarah Jane. Reinette. What if he's not waiting for you?" Mickey was looking at her imploringly and she had to stop herself from lashing out. He wasn't being mean, not really. He was just worried and she understood how it made you say things you'd regret later.

"Then I will have at least tried. I'll know that I did everything I could." The thought crushed her, but she straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin to show her determination.

"Will you come back then?" Mickey's eyes were beautiful, they were one of the first things that drew her to them all those years ago, and even now she could read every emotion that flickered through them. As tough as he had became, that veil of protectiveness had never kept her out. That's why she braced herself before answering, she knew that the hurt and pain from her answer reflected in his eyes would be like a kick in her stomach.

"No."

" _What?!_ Why not?!" Mickey exploded, his eyes flaring with shock and, yeah there it was, pain. Rose smiled and touched his shoulder, but her eyes were sad. Old.

"Oh, Mick. You fit in here. Mum fits in. You both existed here before. There has never been another me. I don't belong here." Rose looked up at him beseechingly, but her words only seemed to make him angrier.

"So you'll what? Stay in London by yourself? Live on the estate and grow old alone? Don't be stupid, Rose. Everyone you love is here!" Mickey was yelling and people were blatantly staring now.

"This isn't the time or place for this discussion. The Doctor will accept me back and if by some stupid twist of fate he doesn't, the stars are going out and he needs to know." This was all said very firmly, as she dropped her hand from his shoulder, spun, and started walking to the elevators.

"But…" Mickey started to protest, but was cut off by the appearance of Jake Simmonds.

"It's a very big day! Are you ready for this, Rose?" Jake caught up to her after she hit the call button and slung an arm over her shoulder, blocking her from a visibly angry Mickey before leaning down and whispering in her ear. "You looked like you needed saving.

"I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle this." Rose quoted _Hercules_ countered in a wry voice, knowing that Jake would never get the reference. That Disney classic didn't exist in this universe, much to Rose's horror. "Yeah, I'm so ready for this, you have no idea."

"You've got this, Rose. You built it, you know it like no one else. You're gonna jump and find the Doctor, stop the-you-know-what, and be back home in time for dessert!" Jake led them into the lift during his quick pep talk and Rose gave him the first genuine smile of the day.

"She's not coming back," Mickey snapped, following them and pushing the button with way too much force. "She's stayin' there no matter what."

Jake turned to look at Mickey with a furrowed brow. "I said she'd be _home_ in time for dessert. This isn't her home."

With that Rose let out a muffled sob and threw her arms around Jake, who had been such a good friend to her. She hadn't realized how much she needed someone else to realize what she'd been saying since she landed here. Mickey, her mum, even Pete, with all of his support. They didn't truly understand that she'd been doing everything to go back to _her_ home. She loved them and she would miss them desperately, but she'd said once that everyone leaves home in the end and this was her end.

"Thanks, Jake," she whispered against his chest and pulled back to rub her hand across the top of his spiky hair, continuing their long running joke. "Stop using so much hair gel. You can poke someone's eye out with those spikes."

"Oh, I'll poke someone alright," Jake grinned and dropped his head like a battering ram, pretending to stab her with one end.

Rose let out an involuntary giggle, one moment of normalcy helping loosen the fist around her heart. She pulled back to see Mickey staring at them with the most heartbroken look. It had been a long time since they lost themselves in such easy camaraderie, so much had happened to them, between them. Mickey _chose_ to stay here, he had a life he built here. He never really understood that Rose had been _forced_ here. She had built a life in their universe. He didn't understand that sometimes she felt like ripping the skin off her bones so that static feeling would stop for just a moment. He told her once, ages ago, that sometimes it felt like she was demeaning his choice to stay, by being so determined to leave. He didn't see the irony that by trying to keep her here, he was doing worse to her. Rose didn't ever try to talk him out of it, or make him feel guilty for his choice. She knew how it felt for people to not accept her choices and consciously tried to never make anyone feel that. She met Mickey's gaze but before he could say anything the lift pinged and Rose was wiping under her eyes and straightening her shoulders, before walking out.

After that there was a flurry of activity and she didn't have time for any emotional scenes. She took charge of the room with an effectiveness that would have surprised her once, but surprised absolutely no one now. Pete watched her with a fond look. He loved her, but he wouldn't be lost when she was gone. She appreciated that, she carried enough guilt over those she was leaving.

And then suddenly it was time. She didn't expect to meet with him the first jump and everyone was expecting the first jump to be relatively short. Enough to jump, look around, and jump back. This was just a proof test that she wouldn't die or come back put together wrong. But just in case she did find her way home, this could very well be her goodbye. There were no words left for her to say. She had left envelopes back at her house with letters for the most important people. If she didn't come home, they knew where to find them. So she hugged Jake, Pete, and Mickey, who straightened out her jacket for her with a gentle cuff to the chin. She pretended not to see the tears in his eyes as she got into position. She closed her eyes quickly, let out a soft sigh and a quick prayer to whatever was listening, and opened her eyes, full of determination.

"Okay, I'm ready."


	3. Chapter 3

Rose landed on her hands and knees, losing the contents of her stomach in the process. Tears streamed down her face as she tried to suck in enough air to fill her lungs and not choke as she heaved. They said that the jump would be painless, that she would blink and be wherever she landed. But Rose felt every second of the jump, every millisecond, of being stretched thin and broken apart, hurtling through the void. She felt cold and icy fingers reach out to grab her, whispers in the pitch black horror of weightlessness and wide awake aware oblivion. The pain in those brief moments was uncompromising and complete. The wound of silence in her head was nothing compared to crossing the void. She spared a brief thought to the mice that they forced to jump before her and the guilt almost crushed her, causing her to sob harder. It wasn't supposed to be _this._

After several moments of calming herself down, Rose finally managed to stand up, shaky and colt-like, hand on her still quivering stomach, and take inventory of herself. Legs, she had legs. Arms. Everything was where it should be and yet if she had been pulled apart as she jumped and then rebuilt back into herself, was she still technically Rose Tyler? Or had she simply been made into an image of herself? A clone with her memories? Or were memories what made the person regardless of the body? Which was a theory that she could support because what was the Doctor then, if not a patchwork of different faces held together by memories?

"This," Rose said out loud into quiet of day, as she finally came back to herself, "Is not the time for such an existential crisis. Where am I?"

She walked unsteady from the alley in which she had landed, trying to place where she was. The planet itself was completely unfamiliar, the people a slightly familiar looking race, but one that she knew she was not really acquainted with. Their brightly colored skin made her smile though, walking through an alien market made her feel more at peace than she had in years. This was why she travelled, this was what she missed. There were so many civilizations to learn about, so many cultures she had the honor to view and marvel upon.

The knot in her stomach loosened as she walked the aisles and trailed her fingers over a collection of muted and pale fabrics that felt like silk against her skin. The inhabitants of this planet wore colors that emphasized their bright skin, an unabashed pride in themselves that Rose greatly admired. She found herself smiling at a little girl with bright blue skin. For an instance she was taken back to the first trip her first Doctor took her on, the steward who greeted them and the electrician who Rose chatted with, but then the little girl smiled and tugged on her mother's dress and Rose was shaken out of her reverie and continued down and out of the market. For a moment she had allowed herself to remember who she used to be, the life she used to lead. Once this market would have been a common side trip for her, but that wasn't her anymore. Or it wasn't her yet. One day, though, one day this would be her life again. She felt the phantom passing of a hand holding hers and a sudden burst of longing for the Doctor hit her. Sometimes all you needed is a hand to hold, indeed.

Suddenly very resolute, Rose squared her shoulders and got to work. She unfortunately wasn't here to reminisce or think of all the things that she was missing. She knew almost immediately from landing here that the TARDIS was not here. The key around her neck remained cold and there was no easing of the silence in her head. If the TARDIS wasn't here then neither was the Doctor. But perhaps there was a reason that she landed here. Though the Dimension Cannon couldn't be given specific instructions on where to land, they did had a faint hope that somehow the Dimension Cannon would land Rose in places that she knew. They had hoped that with that they would be able to land her in the right place at the right time. But this was the first trip, and as much as Rose had wanted it to be the first AND the last, hoping that she would land alongside her Doctor, explain everything, and then he would fix it and they could continue on with their lives together.

She should have known that it wouldn't be so easy.

But as she walked the entire market, followed alley's and meandered through a suburb of pretty and florescently painted homes, there wasn't anything suspicious. There wasn't no secret lair of evil, no one trying to take over the world. Just a normal day where life went on as usual. The sense of disappointment was surprising and momentarily annoying. Who was she to get angry because sometimes life went on as normal? Taking a deep breath, she suddenly realized the air felt static like it did back in Pete's World. Her whole body itched just a little bit, the hairs on her arms were slightly raised. Did that mean she was in the same universe? Or another parallel one? Wherever she was, this was not her universe. She had never felt this before she was trapped, so she was hoping that when she landed in the prime universe, the feeling would go away.

With the realization that she was in the wrong place, she knew it was time to go back to Torchwood. A feeling of dread overcame her thinking of how she was going to have to cross the void again. She was not looking forward to the icy fingers reaching for her again, but she knew that she couldn't continue to stay here. Muffling a moan, she pressed the recall button and immediately faded.


	4. Chapter 4

When she landed, she fell to her knees and threw up again. People came running from all directions, crowding her, reaching out and touching her. After jumping, after feeling things reaching for her in the darkness, it was too much.

She screamed, crawling quickly away from the hands that grabbed. The room immediately silenced, everyone staring at her with utter fright, afraid to make a move, to make a sound, to take a breath. There were at least fifteen people in that room and the only sound was the horrible, echoing sounds of Rose Tyler's terrified screams. All eyes were glued to her in mounting fright as she cowered against the corner of the room, her head buried in her knees, her arms wrapped protectively around her head. No one dared move through all of it, until suddenly Rose stopped screaming and instead let out a keening wail and then started sobbing.

Pete Tyler may not have been Rose's real father, but the sight of her curled up so small, so obviously terrified had him snapping out of the frozen pose, some instinct racing to life that, so far, had only been felt towards his son, Tony. A fierce wave of protectiveness had him almost snarling.

"Out," he growled, moving to stand in front of Rose her, protecting her from the shocked eyes with his body. "Everyone get out."

Everyone scattered, not even attempting to act dignified, as they rushed out of that room. The top minds in the world, calm under vast amounts of pressure, and they were utterly shaken by what they had just witnessed. Only Mickey and Jake remained, though they were just as stunned as everyone else.

"What happened to her?" Mickey suddenly moved forward, shaking himself out of the trance he had been in, reaching for her. "Rose, what happened?"

She flinched away from the hands, trying to scramble further away from him, but there was nowhere else to go. Her breath hitched in her throat and she let out an agonized moan, her sobs not stopping.

"Don't touch her!" Pete demanded, pulling Mickey back by his shirt. "It makes it worse, don't you see?"

"Rose? Rose, it's Pete. You're back. You're safe. Whatever happened, whatever you saw, it's gone now." Pete was kneeling in front of her, his voice low and comforting. He repeated this several times, letting her calm herself down, and making no move to touch her.

Finally, several long minutes later, Rose had stopped crying. Her head was pounding, she couldn't breathe out of her nose because it was so stuffy, and her whole face and body hurt. She lifted her swollen eyes to Pete and the relief that washed over his face was apparent, even to her.

"The Void," she whispered, her throat was sore from the screams and the tears, "Something lives in the Void. It was reaching out."

Three sets of eyes stared at her in fascinated horror.

"It's imposs…" Jake started, but she cut him off, hair sticking to her wet cheeks after she shook her head violently.

"I felt it. Both times. And then when I came back, everyone was touching me. I didn't know where I was, I didn't know who had me. It was overwhelming."

"When I jumped, I didn't feel anything. How did you feel anything? It was like blinking and I was there." Mickey demanded, crouching in front of her.

"I felt it. I felt it all. I didn't last time and I did this time." Rose shrugged, looking down at her shaking hands.

"The stars are going out. The walls between universes are weakening. Maybe in the breakdown of reality, if something exists there, it's gaining...something." Pete trailed off and they all remained silent for a minute.

"Last time, it was easy." Rose filled the silence, her voice stronger than before, but wavering just a little bit. "When he put that jumper around my throat and pushed it. When I immediately jumped back. I didn't feel any different. I was there and then I was somewhere else. But this time, I felt myself being pulled apart and put back together. It was agony."

"You're not supposed to feel it!" Jake exclaimed in frustration, rubbing a hand down his face. "In all of our work, that's never been a variable."

"Yeah, well, I'm telling you that I felt it!" Rose snapped, pushing herself to her feet. "But I landed somewhere. A market, sort of. Safe, breathable air. The Cannon does what it's supposed to."

"There will be no more jumps!" Pete declared. "We'll find some other way."

"We will not," Rose snapped. "I'll continue jumping."

"Look at you, Rose! You came back, throwing up, having an attack. You were in _agony_. Something tried to grab you! There is absolutely no way I can allow this to continue." Pete crossed his arms and glared at her, she scowled back.

"This was the first jump! We didn't know what to expect. There were all sorts of _variables_ ," she sneered the word at Jake, who held his hands up in surrender. and apology "This was a test. To see what would happen. If it even could happen! Now we know."

"Rose…" Pete started, but trailed off. He didn't know what to say, didn't know how to make sense of this new development.

"I'll work on it before I jump again. We'll get everyone to work on it. I'd like a little bit more of a safe landing, more of a guarantee that I'm landing somewhere safe. And a way to keep track of where I land. I don't even know where I landed." Rose pinched the bridge of her nose. "And we'll keep everyone away from me when I come back. No one touches me until I've had a chance to decompress."

"I don't like this." Pete grumbled, but he knew when to concede defeat. This was all they had to find the Doctor, to get the message to him that the stars were going out. They had spent _years_ on it, an unfathomable amount of money. Of course he wasn't going to shut it down.

"Something that tracks the galactic coordinates of where you land," Jake mused, rushing to a computer and trying to figure out the math behind it.

"You have your Tardis key, right?" Mickey asked and when Rose gave the affirmative answer he grinned and headed to another computer. "Maybe we can find a way to use that as a sort of homing beacon. That way you won't land just anywhere. If we can do it, you'll ideally land near the Tardis. Near the Doctor."

"Brilliant," Rose breathed and gave him a huge smile. The unexpectedness of that had him grinning goofily back . "That's brilliant, Mickey. I wonder if there's a way to expand the protective shell of the transport itself? That way, maybe the landings won't be so rough. The Void won't…"

"Incredible," Pete agreed, before walking towards Rose and steering her away from the computer she was about to sit in front of. "But you are not doing anything else here today. You've been through enough."

"I'm fine! I'm not jumping again, I can meet with James McKinley," James was one of the brains behind the Dimension Cannon, he helped Rose put her crazy idea into this tangible and working creation. "Maybe he can figure it out."

"I'm sure he can," Pete agreed, still leading her out of the room. "And he can start to do it without you here. You need to go home, to take a shower, to work through this."

"I'm not a child that you can coddle!" Rose growled out in frustration, her still shaking hands clenched into fists. The idea of going home, of being alone right now, was enough to have her heart start racing anew.

"No, but you are an employee of this company! You've had a trauma and as your superior, I am demanding that you go home for the rest of the day." Pete snapped and she recoiled from his tone, from the look in his eyes, and then gave a hard nod

"Yes, Sir!" Rose snapped back and wrenched her arm away, walking out of the room on her own.

"Rose, I am not doubting your abilities. I know that if I let you, you would stay here and work on this until you actually completed it. You would ignore all of our warnings and you'd jump again tonight. But in order for this to continue, I have to trust you to take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself includes your emotional state. You and I both know that you are in no state to do anything more here today." Pete grabbed her before she could leave the room, his hands resting on her shoulders, and met her eyes squarely. She swallowed and nodded.

"Yeah. I understand. But, Pete, I don't want to think about it right now. There is something here that I can do, something to distract me until I have had a bit of distance and time away from it. Going back to my flat will be overwhelming in the silence. You say you trust me to take care of myself, but this is me taking care of myself. I am definitely not going to be jumping again today. But, please, let me do this." Rose knew what was best for herself, she always had. She wasn't one to sit and mope when she could be doing something. You make a stand, you say no. She met Pete's eyes bravely and he was silent for a few seconds before he let out a sigh and nodded.

"Fine. Get James in here. Figure it out together, but you will go home tonight. You'll get some sleep. You _will_ try and process what you went through today and decide if you want to continue. I can't make that decision for you and if you decide not to, we'll find someone else. It doesn't have to be you."

"Yes," Rose said softly, reaching up and grabbing the key around her throat. "It does."


	5. Chapter 5

She landed on her knees, as always, with her stomach lodged in her throat. The landings were getting better, after she and James had figured out how to increase the bubble of protection that encased her from the jumper. She no longer felt like she was being ripped apart, didn't feel like her organs were ripped out of her body to be stuffed back in, but they were still awful. It was much better than the first jumps, the alien market, then the quick jaunts to see if their math and work was actually correct. It would even be manageable if the horrors from the Void weren't so intense. Whatever lived there reached for her every single time. No matter how much work they put into the jumper, she felt it every time. She was so scared that one day the fingers would grab her and drag her further into the Dark. Whatever it was whispered and Rose was so thankful that she didn't understand what was being said.

Catching her breath, she rose to her feet and looked around. Earth! She was sure of it, but didn't know which one. It had been so long since she had seen her planet, that it was barely a dream anymore. But this time it felt right in a way that none of the other jumps and universes had. She took a deep breath and her knees weakened for a brief second. This was her planet, this was her universe. She knew it as well as she knew her name. The air felt right, the turn of the earth beneath her feet felt steady, felt like home. Instead of trying to throw her off, it was celebrating her return, welcoming her.

Rose almost started crying at the joy that raced through her. Instead she walked briskly down the alley, to a busy sidewalk and was finally able to get a good look around. Cardiff! Of all the places. She was immediately taken back to Dickens and ghosts and the feel of leather. To a feeling of safety even when the world was ending. The pang of loss always surprised her when she thought of her first Doctor, with those big ears and bigger smile.

She bit down hard on her lip to bring herself back to reality. Rose knew immediately that neither the Doctor or the Tardis were nearby. There was no soothing presence at the edge of her mind, the silence echoed like always. Mickey's idea was brilliant to use the Tardis key as a homing device, but it seemed like it didn't work this time. So why was she pulled here? In all the universes, she was pulled to Cardiff in her time, in her universe. Why?

Only one way to find out. She rolled her shoulders and took a step forward, to join the crush of pedestrians when suddenly a hand grabbed her arm and squeezed roughly, forcing her to stop

"What," Rose growled fiercely, turning suddenly to face her would be jailer, "Do you think you are doing?"

"You need to come with me." The guy who grabbed her was taller than her, dark hair and eyes, pale skin and a cruel mouth.

"I will do no such thing! Who do you think that you are? Get your hand off of me!" Rose wrenched her arm back, trying to shake him off but he grabbed her harder, fingers biting into her skin.

"I'll be doing the questioning here!" Rose snorted out a laugh, this guy watched one too many cop shows to be intimidating at all, and then she stopped laughing abruptly when he continued. "You think that you can just pop up on the scanners and no one would notice. The Rift doesn't hide you that well."

"Torchwood." Rose breathed out, her eyes wide with sudden fear.

Torchwood in this universe was the enemy, they had hunted her and the Doctor down, they had opened the Rift and invited the Cybermen in as ghosts, before the terror that followed. Torchwood was why she had become stuck in a world and a universe that was continually unraveling and no one could explain why.

"How do you know Torchwood?" he demanded and Rose took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart, when she caught a scent on him that her stumbling backwards.

"The Dark," Rose moaned, trying to pull her arm away in renewed vigor. "You smell of the Dark, of the Void. You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't exist. Why are you here? What are you?"

"What?" he questioned, releasing her arm in his confusion.

Rose wasted no time, taking off running. She was wrong, this wasn't her world. That man was an abomination and she needed out now.

 _This is the Abomination._

Shaking off that sudden and weird thought and not slowing her sprint, she started fumbling with her watch, trying to set it for the jump back, when she was suddenly hit with something from behind that froze her in her tracks. She wasn't able to move anything but her eyes and she used them to convey every ounce of hatred she felt towards this man.

"You know too much" He said as he casually strolled up, like he hadn't just used used tech from way beyond this world. He grabbed her arm again and as soon as he touched her, she felt an electric shock go through her, but she couldn't even cry out. It did cause her knees to buckle, though, and he swung her up into his arms and carried her, ignoring the way she twitched and jerked.

Suddenly, they were going down in the ground. An invisible elevator in the middle of Cardiff was the least surprising thing about this whole day, so Rose barely paid it any attention. She felt her body fighting whatever he hit her with, felt herself repairing, and knew the exact moment, twenty three seconds after the hit, that she had control of her body again.

Taking him by surprise, she swung her elbow and hit him in the chin, taking him off guard long enough to drop her. She brought her knee upwards between his legs and hit him HARD, dropping him to his knees instantly, on a moan of pain. She pulled a zip tie out of her pocket and had his wrists tied together before he could blink.

"Now you tell me exactly what is going to happen when those doors open," Rose demanded, using his body as a shield.

"You'll find out soon enough," he weezed out, just as the lift doors opened to reveal two women starting at the scene in bemusement, before one let out a gap toothed grin.

"Again? Owen, how on earth do you manage to charm women so quickly?" a woman with a strong Welsh accent teased and Rose tilted her head in bemusement, trying to place where she knew her.

It clicked, Cardiff and Dickens and ghosts. She was right to remember that earlier, but she forgot one important part. One of the bravest women Rose had ever met, who helped to save the world. She was staring at her mirror image. She blinked at her owlishly, trying to place how two women could have one identical face. She tried to ignore the pull of memory that placed her leather clad Doctor beside her, but this woman was making it impossible.

"Who are you?" she asked and Rose suddenly snapped out of it.

"I demand to be released. You have no grounds to hold me here!" Rose growled, jerking this man, Owen, to his feet and walking him forward.

"I don't even know why you're here." The Welsh woman shrugged and crossed her arms, staring in amusement at the tied up human shield of a man.

"She was the anomaly on the screens!" Owen squeaked out and then cleared his throat, deepening his voice. "I had to bring her in."

"You could have _asked_ and not stunned me!" Rose yelled directly in his ear, causing him to flinch.

"What is all of this yelling?" A new voice joined the conversation, a deep American voice that Rose never expected to hear again. She let out a moan, ignoring the sudden spike of pain lacing through her skull. She dropped her hold on Owen, spinning to face the newcomer, ignoring how her hair spun out behind her and smacked her in the face. The shock in his face was repeated on hers.

"Rose? Rose Tyler?" Jack Harkness stood ten feet away from her, his eyes wide with shock but giving her a huge smile.


	6. Chapter 6

"Jack! Oh my god, Jack!" Rose took off running, gave a flying leap into his arms, and wrapped her legs around his waist, clinging to him, as she laughed and cried at the same time. He tightened his hold on her and spun her around, their laughter like music to those watching on, wide eyed.

"How on earth? Oh Jack…." a thought came to her and she pulled back to meet his happy blue eyes. "Jack, where are you?"

"It's me, Rosie. After the Gamestation. Way after the Gamestation." Tension lines appeared beneath his eyes and she reached up and touched them with questions in her eyes.

"But...how? The Doctor said you were helping to rebuild!" Rose protested as he set her down, but he grabbed her hand and led her into a nearby room.

"He left me there, Rose. The last thing I remember is Daleks coming into the hallway and being shot." Jack's voice was low with anger, but his hands were gentle as he pulled her down on a couch beside him.

"Shot?! But Daleks shots kill!" Rose protested again, curling up beside him.

"Yeah, they do. And I did. But somehow I came back and I took off running to find the Doctor, only to get there two seconds too late. I watched the Tardis disappear and haven't seen him since." He spat out the last four words, obviously deeply angry and wounded at that betrayal.

 _I bring life._

There was something tingling at her, something she couldn't piece together. The Doctor wouldn't have just left Jack behind, he loved Jack. What was she missing? She knew that there was something important she wasn't seeing. She said as much to Jack and frowned as he huffed and sat back.

What wasn't she seeing?

"Wait, what do you mean you _came back_?" Rose suddenly demanded, this whole day was crazy and her head was throbbing from it.

"I died on the Gamestation, Rose. Then there was this golden light, this pull of pain, and I was back." Jack leaned forward and grabbed her hand again, like he couldn't help himself. She understood and closed her fingers around his.

"But how were you back?" she questioned helplessly.

 _Golden light_. Why was that familiar?

"I don't know, Rose. I don't know why I keep being brought back!" Jack dropped her hand and buried his head in his hands, pressing his palms to his eyes.

"What do you mean, you keep being brought back?" Rose was so confused, this was not at all how she expected today to go.

"I can't die, Rose. I've been killed so many times, but every time, every single time, there's a golden light, a pull of pain, and I'm brought back." Jack's eyes were filled with tears and his hand was clenched tight on hers again and she wanted so badly to comfort him, but she was so distracted because there was something big and vital and important that she was missing that would put all of these pieces together to make a better picture.

"I don't understand, Jack. How many times have you died?" She was afraid of his answer, of how old and haunted his eyes looked when he looked up.

"I lost count decades ago, Rose. I don't know anymore."

"Decades?" Rose's voice was shrill and she sounded more like Jackie than she ever had. Then a thought popped into her head and...oh no. "Jack, how old are you?"

"Over 100," He whispered and the strong feeling of guilt stunned and confused her, but the heartbreak on his face had her climbing beside him and wrapping her arms around him, holding him as he cried, joining him in his tears.

Whatever she was missing, whatever she was feeling guilty over, she'd figure it out later. Here was her friend, one of her best friends, and his heart was breaking in front of her. He was something new, something that shouldn't exist. She didn't know why or how she knew that, but she was certain of it. But he was here and permanent and she loved him so much still.

"Shh," she whispered, clutching him tighter and running her hands through his hair. "Shh, it's okay. I'm here."

"How are you here?" Jack suddenly asked, pulling away from her. "I saw the lists of names after Canary Wharf. You were on it!"

"We were there, Jack." Rose sat beside him, pulling her knees to her chest. "The Doctor and I. We were there and opened to Void, sending them back to it."

The hands and voices and things that reached for her. For the hundredth time, she wondered if it were Daleks and Cybermen, but she didn't think so. It was darker, more sinister. Both the Daleks and the Cybermen were the stuff of nightmares, but they were honest about what they were. Whatever existed in the Void hid in shadows and was getting more desperate every jump.

"What happened?" Jack put his hand on her back, a solid and comforting presence, like she had been for him.

"A lever went offline. Of course it was on my side. We were hanging, trying not to be sucked in. And I had a choice, to let the Void close before all the Daleks and Cybermen could be sucked back, or let go and get the lever back online. It wasn't a choice at all. Of course I let go." She snorted and looked at their entwined hands, but her voice was soft and sad.

"Of course you did. You wouldn't have been my Rosie if you hadn't done the stupid and brave choice." Jack kissed the top of her head and she smiled up at him.

"I couldn't hold on. I tried so hard, but the pull was so strong. I slipped and just before I could be locked in the Void forever, the parallel version of my dad jumped and caught me, then took me back to his universe. But before I could jump back, the walls closed. And that was that. I was stuck there."

"But you're here now. How are you here now?" Jack demanded and Rose suddenly looked around.

"Torchwood, Jack?"

"It's different now, I swear. I was already working here when Canary Wharf happened…" Rose pulled away with a shriek, ready to jump home before he broke her heart with whatever he said next. "I'd been here for a long time. I took over, I've been rebuilding it!"

"They have a charter to kill the Doctor and I, Jack! We were the reason Torchwood was even created!"

"I know that, but I swear to you, it's no more! I wasn't lying when I said I fixed and rebuilt it. I've changed it from the ground up. The Doctor isn't a threat, he's our greatest ally!" Jack met her eyes with a fierce expression. "I know that I'm angry with him because he left me. But I also know that he isn't a bad man and he's saved our asses more than we can count."

Rose nodded in agreement to that, still poised to fight for them, but the tension drained out of her at Jack's face. Of course he wouldn't hurt the Doctor. He would never hurt her either She knew that. She did. He was one of the people she trusted most, in the whole multiverse.

"The stars are going out. All across every reality. The stars are going out. We can't explain why. That's how I'm here. Whatever is causing the breakdown of reality is allowing me to jump between universes, to warn the Doctor."

"Jump between universes? What does that mean?" Rose showed him her jumper, hovered over it protectively when he started fiddling with it.

"This is the easiest encryption I have ever seen. A child could break through it."

"I know!" Rose agreed and flapped her hands in disgust. "But the encryption has to be simple because there's no other way for me to use it. If there's an emergency, I have to be able to jump quickly. If I am fumbling with different buttons and contraptions, it puts me in danger."

Jack shifted, rolling up his sleeve to show his vortex manipulator, and Rose froze as she stared at it, trying to figure out why it caught her attention.

"Aha!" Jack suddenly exclaimed and she jumped. "Like I said, a child could break through it. I just got everything I need to jump to that universe."

"Don't you dare," Rose hissed and his eyes flashed surprise. "That universe is slowly unravelling and we can't explain why. The last thing we need is to force new holes there."

"No, Rose. I would never. What I mean is, I can work with this. Make you something stronger, something you don't have to worry about losing. AND something with better encryption."

"What? How?"

"Something I learned at the Time Agency. Bind it to your molecular DNA so that it only obeys you. No one but you can take it off and no one but you can use it."

"Like your vortex manipulator!" she crowed, figuring out why it caught her attention. "Can you do that?"

"Yes, fairly easily. Give me a few minutes." And then Jack was off, running around the room, building a brand new wrist band for her.

She watched him work, a part of her healing from a wound that she didn't even know was there. They had left him behind so long ago, but Jack owned a small part of her heart. She had missed him so much. When she asked to go back after months of adventures with her Doctor and get him, the Doctor ignored her and landed in France. She felt a tiny piece of remembered resentment. Maybe once he changed his face, he forgot attachments that he had to former friends and companions, but her first Doctor would have never ignored her plea and then ran off with a beautiful French woman.

Same man, she repeated firmly. She knew that too, but it was hard to remember the differences between them. But when her Doctor changed, he became a pretty boy that he once made fun of. He changed for her, she knew that. She thought back to the coronation, how he almost ripped the planet apart to find her. That face cared for her just as fiercely, maybe more so, but he showed it differently.

Jack appeared before her suddenly and grabbed a piece of her hair, ignoring her startled yelp and feeding it into the black thing dangling between his hands. He let out a whoop of excitement and then wrapped it around her wrist. He then tried to take it off and it didn't budge. With a small smile, she tried and it came right off. She put it back on and cheered, throwing her arms around him again.

"Thank you, Jack!" she laughed and kissed his cheek, enjoying the feeling of being wrapped up in his arms again.

"I'd do anything for you, Rosie."

"Me too," Rose whispered, listening to the steady heartbeat beneath her ear.

"You have to go back don't you?" Jack broke the quiet that had fallen on them and she sniffed before nodding.

"We have to find him"

"You're here though, in the right universe. The right time. Can't you just wait here until he shows up?" Jack's eyes were shadowed with pain as he stared down at her, his hands clenched into fists.

Rose reached up and soothed the line between his eyes. "You have no idea how much I wish I could do that, Jack. But there's this whole team relying on me and expecting me. The coordinates of where I am have been sent back, they know I'm not with the Doctor."

"No, but you're somewhere that can help you. With someone who will help you." his voice was barely a whisper. "I miss just being Jack, like I am with you. Not someone who people look at with suspicion, because I can't die."

"Jack Harkness, you will always be Jack to me. Nothing and no one else. I know who you are. I know your heart. That is what is important about you, nothing else." Rose hated that she had to go back to her Torchwood, that she had to leave here. "Program these coordinates into this fancy watch you made me. I have to go back, have to see this thing through. But if there's ever a day when I can't jump back there, I'll come here."

"Do you promise?"

"I swear it on everything. I will see you again, Jack. Whether it's me jumping back to say hello, or it's me finding the Doctor, stopping the universal crisis, and then coming back here to give you the answers that you deserve. This isn't the last time we see each other. I won't allow that, I won't give you up again"

She thought back to what Mickey said, if the Doctor didn't want her anymore. She'd never stay in that universe, but now she knew that this was where she would come. Come back to Jack and defending the earth. If she had to. If she had to give up her home again.

"You're stuck with me, Jack. From now until the end of time." her eyes went blank as she said this, her voice confident and sure. Jack's mouth was gaping silently and then whatever Rose was seeing was gone and with a stabbing pain shooting through her head, she smiled up at Jack, tapping his shoulder.

His eyes were narrowed, suspicion playing through his mind on a loop. But he couldn't make heads or tails over what had just happened. Instead he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for a long hug.

"I love you, Rose." he tapped her nose and she laughed, but still couldn't bring herself to say those words.

"Jack Harkness, I will find you again." With a final big, happy smile to Jack she pressed the button on her wrist and faded from view.


	7. Chapter 7

She didn't get sick when she landed this time, though she did dry heave a bit. She was getting better at this, her body adjusting to untold horrors of things that it should never have to adjust to. Thoughts of the void caused a shudder to go through her. Something existed there, reaching out for her every single time as she crashed through. If she had been trapped there after Canary Wharf… Thankfully she hadn't and she tried to shake it off.

Getting her breath and her bearings back, Rose took a look around. Definitely not Earth with the deep red grass and silver leaves. The sun was rising and the forest looked like it was on fire. Taking a reverent step forward, she tried to soak in every detail. Standing atop a hill, she overlooked a lake so clear and beautiful she could see to the bottom, where the most extraordinary fish swarm. The leaves and grass seemed to dance in the breeze. Birds and animals unlike any she had ever seem roamed. Flowers bloomed in near perfect symmetry with a sky the most beautiful shade of blue. Twin suns on each side of the horizon. Rose took a deep breath and reached up to wipe tears from under her eyes. She had seen so much of the universe, but this was by far the most beautiful place she had ever seen. She didn't know where she was but if she were stuck here and her Dimension Cannon stopped working, this world was so beautiful she didn't think she would be angry.

Taking a look at the watch she wore she frowned in confusion. There had been so many upgrades to this watch after Jack had given it to her, after so many jumps ago. The galactic coordinates were all zeros, with a breathable air (obviously), but no other watch was supposed to set to the coordinates of the galaxy she was in, if the planet she was on (or asteroid) was habitable and supported life. Which this one clearly did with the beautiful fauna and wildlife she could barely keep her eyes away from. So if her watch was correct, she was at the center of the universe. The spot from which every other was measured. What existed here? She looked around again. Why was the city in the distance in a dome? And off to the distance, beyond the stunning rolling mountains there was the faintest inkling of a song, scratching at the emptiness of her mind, which caused a _yearning_ to run towards it and embrace whatever it was. But after taking a step that way, she froze and instinctively knew if she explored then she would never leave here she would embrace that song and never go home, never find the Doctor. End of the multiverse.

Taking a deep breath, she started forward. There was only one way to find out and she wouldn't find any answers just standing here.

Pulling in deep breaths, she finally made it into the city. The dome she was so worried about was easily breached. She walked right through it! People bustled everywhere, some clothed in simple gowns and others in extravagant robes. All women wore their hair up. But even the city was beautiful, with almost cobblestone like streets and beautiful architecture. As she continued on through the city, she felt someone following her, which made sense. She stood out with her blonde hair loose, tight black pants and blue leather jacket (the first time she had seen it, she thought of her first Doctor with those big ears and bigger jacket and the feeling of safety that surrounded her when she was with him. She missed that version of him, even as she embraced the new one. But she missed the feeling of safety and this jacket gave her a false sense of it.)

Rose caught sight of one of the more simply dressed women and gave her a bright smile. When the woman smiled back, Rose strode towards her.

"'Ello! I seem to have crashed here. Can you please tell me where exactly I am?"

"People don't just crash here," the woman shot back, her welcoming smile gone.

"Well clearly some do. I did. Please, if you could just tell me where I am." Rose pleaded, touching the other woman's arm who seemed thrown off by this whole exchange.

"Why you're on…"

"Don't tell her another word!" an imperious voice demanded and Rose spun to face him.

Shit, he was clearly law enforcement on this planet. Red uniform with a black sash, weapons that Rose had never even seen before and wasn't exactly in a hurry to get acquainted with were holstered onto his belt. He stood probably a foot taller than her with closely cropped dark hair and a foreboding expression. She took a deep breath and gave him a weak smile.

"You will come with me."

"Oh, I will? That's news to me. I think I'm gonna head back actually. Beautiful planet you've got here." Rose had developed the Doctor's love to babble in a bad situation.

"Silence!" he boomed and Rose decided to just shut up and comply. "You will come."  
"Yeah, okay." Rose raised her hands in the hair in the universal sign of surrender and couldn't resist adding, "I come in peace."

He didn't respond, rather leading the way through the city completely ignoring everyone who turned to stare at them as they passed. Maybe they weren't used to seeing someone being arrested. She thought back to London and how it was a relatively common sight. Two different worlds.

"Where are we going?" Rose asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Silence."

"Where are we? Why can't I know the name of this planet?"

"Silence."

"You know this is a peaceful surrender. You could at least answer my questions." He remained stubbornly silent. "You know, on my planet…"

"Be. Quiet!" Rose closed her mouth.

He led her into what was undoubtably an interrogation room. Travelling with the Doctor, Rose had seen more than her fair share of them.

"You're to wait here." the cop told her in that rude tone again.

"Yeah, I know the drill, ta." Rose sat down, crossed her legs and smiled beautifully at him. "Here I am. Not resisting arrest."

His lips twitched the slightest amount before he schooled his expression into one of proper disapproval so fast she wasn't entirely sure she didn't make it up, before he left the room. When the door closed, Rose slumped down slightly. She could press the recall button on her watch and be taken back, but there was something making her hesitate. A slight twitching at the base of her skull, a soothing presence urging her to wait and see what happened.

She wasn't alone for terribly long when the door opened again and two people walked in. Straightening up, she eyed them. The same man as before and a beautiful woman, with blonde hair worn down around her shoulders, at odds with the rest of the women she had seen so far. Rose zeroed in on her.

"Hi!" she greeted brightly. "An interrogation. Fun. Who is the good cop and who is the bad?"

"I am Romana. This is Braxiatel." the woman gestured between them and Rose raised an eyebrow at the elegant movement. "How did you get here?"

"Look, lady, I don't even know where "here" is. I'm trying to figure that out myself."

"Then how did you come to be here?" The elegant woman asked in a patient tone, but Rose saw the impatience in her eyes.

"I told the lady before. I crashed here. The cop was listening while we spoke." Rose pointed to the man standing against the wall.

"Impossible!" Braxiatel snapped, speaking for the first time since entering the room again. "There is nothing on out scanners."

Rose subtly shifted in her seat, pulling her jacket down to cover her watch more fully. No good would come of them finding it, even if they couldn't remove it because it was bonded to her molecular DNA. Thanks, Jack. For the countless time, she wished she had stayed in Cardiff with him and hunted the Doctor down from there.

"Well, I don't know about any of that. I just know that I wasn't here and now I am. I still don't even know where here is."

"How could you not know? This is Gallifrey!" Romana spoke up in haughty tones and the bottom of Rose's world fell out.

"G-Gallifrey?" she repeated hoarsely. "That's impossible!"


	8. Chapter 8

Braxiatel gave her a sharp look. "How do you know that it's impossible?"

Because Gallifrey is gone, destroyed in the Time War by the man I am traversing across universes to find. You lot are long dead and stuck in a time lock, Rose thought hysterically, dropping her head into her arms.

"Madam?" Romana asked, her tone almost gentle. "Are you alright?"

"Please," Rose spoke, raising her head suddenly and meeting the wide eyes staring back at her. "Please you have to let me go now."

"Highly unlikely. We have some questions." Romana answered her gently.

"This is wrong. This is so wrong. I shouldn't be here.'

"It's too late to run," Braxiatel inserted, his tone and expression dark and formidable. "Either you will answer our questions voluntarily or we will take the answers we need."

Telepathy, Rose realized. The Doctor was a touch telepath, had gone into her mind once to make sure all traces of Cassandra were gone. He had gone a second time to help her build walls in her mind. Later he had gone back to make sure that the walls were holding and she had quickly forced him out and he stared at her with a look of incredulity. Apparently that had been unexpected.

"You don't have to do that." Rose said, trying to keep her voice calm.

"Then you will answer all of my questions and leave nothing out!" he slammed his hands down on the table and leaned forward.

Rose bit her lip and ignored him, turning back to Romana. "Please. You must let me go. You don't understand."

Romana stared at her for a long moment before speaking. "Braxiatel, leave us."

"But…" he stammered out and she shot him a dark look that was infinitely more terrifying than the one he tried to give.

"I am still your president. Leave us. I will call for you in moment."

"Yes, Madam President," he bit out and walked out, his back straight and fists clenched at his sides.

"You're the president?" Rose questioned. "And you're sitting in on an interrogation?"

"You have the whole of Gallifrey talking already. An off worlder doesn't just appear here. What is your name?" Romana crossed her arms and leaned forward.

"I can't tell you that." Rose denied hotly, leaning back. "If I tell you that an entire causal nexus could break down."

"Interesting. Okay, I'll allow that for the time being. Where are you from?" Ramona stood, staring down at Rose, her blue eyes intense.

"Earth." Rose answered truthfully.

"Sol 3. Of course." Romana sucked in a deep breath. "But you don't read as human."

"Read?"

"Your timelines." Romana's eyes went slightly unfocused as she stared near Rose's head.

 _I can see..._

"Stop it! Whatever you're doing, stop it!" Rose shrieked, grabbing her head.

 _I can see everything._

"I said stop it!"

 _All that is._

"Please!" Rose screamed, standing up and sending the chair toppling behind her.

 _All that was._

"Listen to me, I don't know what you're doin', but you've got to stop!"

 _All that ever could be._

A song was beginning to build in Rose's mind, a song so familiar and ancient that tears filler her eyes. She reached out for it greedily, ready to claim it and had grasped it and was bringing it forward, when Romana blinked and it vanished. Rose lost her grip and fell back into her chair.

"What are you?" Romana demanded, backing up a step.

Rose's mind was so empty again, she was reaching out still for something that wasn't there. For a moment she had been so full and whole and she couldn't adjust to the silence again.

"I asked you a question!" Romana burst out and Rose blinked up at her, trying to get her breath back.

"Human! I'm human!"

"That was not human!" Romana argued, walking back towards Rose, her eyes narrowed and fierce.

"I was born on Earth! My parents are human, I am human. It's this place. It's messing with my head."

"How? How is Gallifrey messing with your head?" Romana leaned forward, her blue eyes so like her first Doctor's that Rose wanted to cry.

"I don't know! All I know is that I have to go. Please!"

"You are not leaving yet. Especially not after that scene that just happened."

"Then I'm sorry." Rose pushed the recall button on her watch and closed her eyes.

Nothing happened. Romana looked at her with almost sympathy.

"There's no teleportation inside this room."

"Then let me out!"

"You must be aware that I can not do that."

"You've got to!"

"Why?"

"Because I know the future!" Rose cried out. "I know the future of your entire planet, Time Lady. I can't stay here and you know it."

Romana looked surprised, rocking back on her heels and perching at the edge of the table. "The future of an entire planet?"

Rose merely stayed at her, biting her tongue. Damn, she hadn't meant to say that. She wasn't kidding before when she said this place was messing with her head.

"When are you from?" Romana asked.

"The 21st century," Rose answered, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"Humans don't have time travel for another three thousand years and then only a crude form that couldn't bring you to Gallifrey."

Rose sat in silence, refusing to answer any more questions.

"I can very easily go into your mind and find the answers myself."

"You can try." Rose met her eyes at this and grinned wolfishly.

"You are very confident."

"I've had reinforcements. I know how to protect myself."

"Yes, I'm sure that you have. By the Doctor?" Romana asked nonchalantly. When Rose froze, Romana sighed and sat across from her.

"You're from his favorite planet, in his apparent favorite time period. You have his attitude. It was not a hard leap to make."

"You know the Doctor?" Rose breathed.

"He is very well known. Gallifrey's lost son and black sheep. He's been the president. He is quite the rebel."

"Yes," Rose murmured in agreement "He still is."

"And he is a very dear friend of mine." Romana finished quietly and met Rose's gaze head on.

After a moment, Rose decided to trust her with at least a little bit of the truth.

"I didn't crash here." Rose raised her arm and pushed back the sleeve to expose her wrist. "I...jumped."

"A vortex manipulator?" a look of disgust crossed Romana's pretty face.

"Sort of. It isn't pretty," Rose agreed. "It was set to random. I never expected to land here."

"I believe you." Ramona answered several seconds later, after some rather intense eye contact.

"Then let me leave." Rose said simply.

"It's not that simple. More than why you are here, it is what you are."

"Human." she supplied again, getting tired of this question.

"No," Romana shook her head, her face earnest. "Maybe once, but no longer."

"That's not possible!"

"When I looked at your timelines, I almost got lost in them."

"And?" Rose demanded. "What does that even mean?"

"That's impossible, that is what it means. Humans in particular, they may have a few timelines. Different possible futures. But yours...they wrap around you. There's so many, but there's also only one. It stretches out further than I can see. They nearly engulf you." Ramona's eyes went hazy for a second, looking for something that only she could see.

"You said there are many, but then there is only one. That doesn't make sense!" Rose growled out in exasperation, slamming her hands on the table.

"There are so many that surround you. But your timeline in particular shines the brightest. Yours is the brightest, yours stretches on further than I can see. It's like you've been touched by time, but that is impossible." Romona breathed, reaching forward to try and touch whatever she was seeing and the movement had the interrogation light shine on the red jewel at her throat.

 _I am the Bad Wolf_

Rose froze again, whatever Ramona was reaching for was also causing the song to swell quietly in the back of her head. "You lot, you need to learn a new word. Not everything is impossible."

"But more than all of that, it is almost as if you hold time itself inside of you." Ramona's eyes cleared from the fog of whatever she had been searching for and she suddenly looked at Rose with a hard expression. "You tell me that you know the future of my whole planet. Which sounds rather ominous, don't you think? How could you possibly think I could let you go?"

"Which version of the Doctor do you know?" Rose asked suddenly and Romana just looked amused at the question.

"All of them."

"The latest, I mean." Rose clarified, sitting back down in her chair.

"His eighth incarnation." Romana supplied in a mildly condescending way, like she was talking to an errant child.

"And I know the Tenth. Before that, I knew the Ninth." Rose thought of his blue eyes and warm hands and a pang shot through her heart again. He would have never let her fall. He would have torn the walls apart himself if she had been lost. None of this would be happening if...but no. That wasn't fair. He was the same man. "That is how I know the future of your planet."

"You aren't telling me the whole truth! Why have you held time in your hand?" Romana demanded.

 _I create myself._

"I can't tell you that!" Rose slammed her palms on the table again, ignoring the ache in her head, the way the silence hurt. It bothered her all the time, she could handle it it hurting more. "The Doctor taught me that much. I can't reveal the future or change the past."

Romana stared at her for a long moment and Rose kept her gaze. She would not back down on this. If this woman truly knew the Doctor, she would know that he only travelled with those brave enough to stand in their convictions, who would sacrifice whatever necessary to protect him, to protect what was right. After a long moment, Romana nodded.

"Very well. You will be escorted out of here and kept under guard until you reach the spot you landed, where you will immediately leave. You will not be allowed back here." Ramona stood ramrod straight, her voice hard and flinty, her whole persona on guard, and Rose could easily see how she was the Lady President and stood in protection of this planet.

"I understand."

"If you return, I will not be as generous." Romana warned.

"I understand." Rose repeated and stood, stretching out her hand and gasped when Ramona shook it. For just a brief moment, there was a presence in her mind that took the edge off of the pain, but when Ramona withdrew her hand, the pain flared bright hot.

"Remember this. You are not human." Ramona delivered her warning with soft eyes and a hard mouth and the obviously jumbled reaction she was having caused Rose to worry more than if she was just simply cruel or compassionate.

"Then what am I?" Rose demanded, her heart racing.

"That I can not answer. You have chosen to leave." As if there had been another option on the table. In light of this startling new development, Rose would have been willing to risk staying here, to figure out what this Ramona woman, who could see far too much, was talking about.

"I didn't realize I had to choose between the two." Rose burst out and Ramona sighed, spreading her arms almost hopelessly, before allowing them to fall back to her sides.

"Honestly, I want you off Gallifrey. Your timelines are causing much gossip and we have enough going on without adding this." Rose noticed for the first time how tired Romana looked with the faint shadows under her eyes and lines of stress bracketing her mouth.

"It's started, hasn't it?" Rose whispered and was subjected to a long look.

"The War?" Rose licked her lips and nodded in response to the question.

"It has." Their eyes met, Ramona's head tilted as she stared at Rose, who looked away, fighting stirrings of guilt. "Judging by your expression, I assume that it doesn't go well."

Rose schooled her expression quickly and shrugged. "It's war. Does war ever go well?"

"No, I suppose that it doesn't." Ramona's voice was soft and they shook hands again, before Rose went to walk out of the room, leaving Ramona standing by that cold table. But Rose hesitated by the door before making a quick decision and turning back to see Ramona staring intently at her.

"There will come a moment when all hope seems lost. Call the Doctor then." Rose said this very quickly with her eyes closed, as if by not looking at Ramona as she said it, then she could pretend that she wasn't possibly messing everything up.

Romana's lightly colored brows were raised when Rose opened her eyes to look at her. "He will not already be here?"

"He will. But a terrible choice must be made. An impossible choice. Please don't force him to make it alone." Rose's voice cracked and she had to swallow down the rest of what she wanted to say.

"You are asking me to change the future." Romana stated harshly. "After you already told me that you know you can't do that."

"No," Rose quickly shook her head and denied that. "No, the future must unfold. All I am saying is don't let him make the choice alone. He thinks he's better alone, but if you know him at all, you know that isn't true."

"No, it is not true. He once almost broke the entire…" she broke off abruptly and let out a heavy sigh, that said more than any words ever could. She was struggling under the weight of the War, of being strong in such hard times. "Never mind that now. A different life."

"Just be there with him, please. Let him know that he isn't alone." Rose blinked back tears, unsure who her heart was breaking for the most at this moment.

"You care for him very much."

"The Doctor showed me a better way of living. He gave me a better life, made me a better person. He does that for everyone he touches." Rose almost had herself back under control, if there was anything that she could talk about with utter assurance and conviction, it was this.

"It's more than that, though. I know that the Doctor loves your planet, your people. But I have never met anyone who defends him as fiercely. Were you and he...?" Ramona trailed off delicately and for that Rose was grateful, this was no one else's business.

Rose didn't answer and put her hand on the doorknob. "Goodbye, Romana."

"Wait." Romana walked forward and unclasped her necklace.

"What is this for?" Rose questioned, when Ramona placed the beautiful necklace in her hand. The red stone twinkled up at her, small but stunning, the chain looked like platinum, but felt sturdier, even just resting in Rose's hand.

"You have given me fair warning. This is my gift to you."

"I can't accept this." Rose shook her head, trying to place the necklace back in Ramona's hand, but Ramona closed her hands into fists instead and took a step backwards.

"I insist. Please, put it on." Romana made a gesture like she was wrapping it around her neck for her.

Rose hesitated but put it on when Romana gave her an impatient look. Immediately the empty spot inside her head felt better. Not filled, but not the ragged gaping wound that it had been. She moaned with relief at the diminished pain and gave Romana a questioning look.

"It is mildly telepathic. I can tell by the you hold your head that it is empty. That's a terrible burden that no one should feel." Romana clasped Rose's shoulder. "It is nowhere near the same as having a bond, but it will help with the emptiness."

"I...thank you." Rose's knees were slightly weak at the sudden lightness of her burden.

"I wish you all of the best." Ramona's voice was nearly a whisper and Rose knew it was time to leave. But first…

"So the Doctor was president once?" Rose joked, smiling with her tongue poked out and touching her top lip.

"Once? Oh no, he was the Lord President twice. He was horrified both times and did whatever he could to escape the confines of his office." Ramona snorted, the inelegant sound at odds with her elegant appearance, which caused peals of laughter to fall from Rose, and the sound made Ramona start laughing too. For a second, they were just two young (looking) women laughing over the absurdity of a man. No matter the species, no matter how many genders she came across, Rose had learned well that laughing over antics of men could be used to bond females.

Rose felt tears well up suddenly, cutting off her laughter. In another life, in a kinder universe, she could see them being friends. She rushed and hugged her quickly, ignoring the squeak of protest, before letting go and hurrying out, unable to look back.


End file.
